By Cynthia Bigrigg
This has been the best year of my life. It hasn’t been the easiest, I did not spend all of it happy, parts of it were devastating and I spent at least one month of it certain that my world was going to crash down around me. But it was the best year of my life.
The second most important thing that I learned in 2011 is how much I need to NOT be seriously committed or attached to anyone for a while. I am too young for that. I (even after all of my adventures) don’t know myself well enough for that. And I am not going to commit myself to anyone else until I have committed to knowing every ounce of my mind, body and soul.
The absolute most important thing I have learned this year is that the only way I will ever be any good for myself or anyone else is to learn how to treat myself really, really well. To respect myself, pamper myself, fuel myself, let myself change and grow, let myself learn, allow myself to follow every little intuition, every gut feeling I get, and show myself complete and utter acceptance and love.
I learned how to stand up for myself, how to be firm without being mean, and how to be comfortable telling someone I love that enough is enough.
I learned that all little birds have to leave the nest, and that for me, becoming an adult meant moving far, far away – I would have remained a child under the thumbs of others if I had stayed.
I learned that grown ups really can do whatever they want, if they have the means to and are prepared to face/aren’t concerned about the consequences.
I learned how to pack my life into a car and take off, how to drive with my knees and how to pull off on the side of the road to take a nap.
I learned that someone can change, but that they can’t change another person. And I learned that it is a waste of time to try.
I learned that I have a lot to learn.
I learned that when the present is entirely satisfying and filled with joy, all of the hurt from the past feels like it existed in a whole other lifetime.
In 2011 I held six jobs until I found the right one. I met people from all over the world. I felt pride in myself and I felt success. I went cliff diving into what I swear was the world’s coldest water. I drove 3600+ kilometers. I slept in hostels and other people’s beds. I tied up loose ends and I learned that living in a space that feels good and right is imperative to my happiness.
2011 was the start of a life not dominated by responsibilities to other people, not dominated by other people’s wishes for me. It was the start of my journey and mine alone. And the journey continues.
